| Q. |
I seem to have a version of the game with multiple levels that runs extremely slowly to the point of unplayability. |
| A. |
Erm, yes, you seem to have that version that was extremely slow with levels that was unplayable. Please update to the latest version. Or you may have entered "bullet time" mode in which the whole game plays at a framerate of 5fps if you're lucky. Remember how cool that was in "The Matrix"? Man I have to go back and watch that again. |
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| Q. |
I can't play this game with one hand. |
| A. |
This game is intended to be played with both hands. |
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| Q. |
I can't play this game with my feet, and I've tried. |
| A. |
Aw, Jesus. I lick your phone when you're not around. You touch it with your feet? That's gross. |
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| Q. |
How much does free cost? |
| A. |
Lord if I know, I'd probably have to pay someone to tell me and I ain't making any money off of this. |
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| Q. |
Will this game be free forever or just for a limited amount of time? |
| A. |
I intend to create an asset bubble - get as many people as possible to download it for free then inflate the price to $999. People will perceive their worth to be much higher and will go on a spending spree, perhaps taking out loans using the game as collateral. Then I'll arbitrarily set the price back to free instigating a financial crisis. I've already done this successfully with tech stocks, tulips, and housing. It is the necessary function of the League of Slightly Darker Areas. |
